Interview with the first gentleman Essay

MANILA -My news editor asked me to interrogate the husband of the gameyest official of the land, Mr. Miguel Mike Arroyo. On the day appointed, I was whisked in to the Malacanang palace, where after(prenominal) the formalities, i. e. , being frisked by presidential guards in combat fatigues, I was shown in to the Philippines eq of the Oval Office. Mr. Arroyo rose to shake my hand. He was non tall, but im workforcese, precise fat, and had a bored air about him. With him was an hoar patch wearing glasses, who introduced himself as Jess Santos, a lawyer and the starting time human races spokesperson. The interview went on as followsQ I hear youve been busy these days, filing asperse cases against some journalists. Jess Yes, that is correct. You feel these newspaper abuses, theyre a pain in the ass. ever more than noisy. further of course you cant help it. We live in a democracy, and the Philippines is the most democratic in Asia. I hope youll agree. tho when they attack the beginning gentleman, development all kinds of defamatory imputation, development the media to spread these lies and calumniate and slur him so as to blemish his clean and unvarnished reputation, he has to raise up back. And at that places nothing wrong in using the courts to seek justice. (The branch Gentleman nods gravely.)Q argon there any truths to these so-called lies against the protrude-go Gentleman? Jess Oh, no None at all. This allegation about unexplained wealth, its absurd. It isnt wrong to be rich, you know. But the main point here, which you must not miss, and should be emphasized in your newspaper column or whatever, is that Mr. Arroyo is a gentleman. I mean, a gentleman in the real sand of the word. You wear offt see a gentleman bothday, do you? He is very dignified, punctilious of honor, the epitome of chivalry, gallantry, and respect. (The First Gentleman nods, dozing off. ) Q Is it current he dared the lawyer of a defendant to a fistfight in court?( The First Gentleman opens his eyes, looks at me, but says nothing. ) Jess Well, you know how it is with honorable men like the First Gentleman. They are very sensitive when their honor is brought to ridicule. And in fiat to preserve his honor and integrity, it is but practice for the First Gentleman to react in his defense by calling the offend party to a fight, which shows that the First Gentleman is not a pushover, nor is he a weakling, but a chivalrous man like the knights of old who were not panicky to do battle to defend their honor. Q I see. What about his rumored liaison with a evenhandedly woman, allegedly his secretary?Jess (assuming a pained expression) Please, please, do not dignify such baseless, malicious accusations. The First Gentleman would never enter into an unchaste relationship with a woman other than his wife, the President, because a true gentleman will never accommodate any immoral thought, much more an illicit affair with a woman. (The First Gentleman looks at the ceiling as if remembering something. ) Q According to a columnist, the First Gentleman stayed in a $20,000 suite at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas when he went there to watch the fight between your Manny Pacquiao and Erik Morales.Jess That is not true. I suspect if you can find such a room in Las Vegas. And even if he did, the expenses may scram been paid by friends. You know the First Gentleman, he has friends from high places. Q Well, I admit I dont know him that much. And I nock he isnt saying anything. cease I interview him? Jess Oh, sure. Theres nothing to worry about him. He is the perfect gentleman. Q Well, sir, could you react to the accusation that you squander a secret bank key in Germany? FG (unsmiling)Who told you that? Q Well, its on the papers, sir. honourable trying to draw and quarter your reaction firsthand. FG Well, um, its a lot of shit, I mean, whoever wrote that expression is an asshole, I mean, he must be an enemy of the state to say such ma tters. Why, I know, being the First Gentleman, that there are continuing threats to our national security. Q I also hear this get by was brought up by a certain instance Cayetano who is now running for Senator. And this person has argufyd you to issue a waiver so that he could prove whos telling the truth. FG (scowling). The bootless scumbag Scoundrel Bloody fool condone me, but I cant help myself. You see, this person has been using his parliamentary immunity to attack me at every turn. Im sick of him. But I wont be dragged into this controversy. Q He also says you brought 50 one thousand thousand pesos in a helicopter in Mindanao to buy votes in the last alternative where your wife won as President. FG That is a lie Dont entrust the goddam son of a cr group Afish Q And he has just issued a worldly concern statement that he is daring you to draft him in a debate at Plaza Miranda to show who is telling the truth. FG The warmness I will not accede down to his level.If he wa nts, I challenge him to a fistfight (rolls up his sleeves). Q He also says you are crook and a liar and an adulterer. FG (roaring). He said that? regulate him to just wait. Tomorrow Ill bill twenty counts of libel against him.I have fifty lawyers to work on that. Jess immediately there, there, please dont get excited. A gentleman is never nettled up. FG Tell him I will get his goddam ass Jess Please sir, youre a real gentleman. FG I know that, I know. And Ill prove to the =* guy that Im a *&%4 man of honor (end of interview).